Sorry if I’ve been pretty quiet lately. Our cat baby has been feeling not so great for the past few weeks and after a course of antibiotics for what our vet THOUGHT was asthma we just found out that he actually has congestive heart failure. All of the “asthma attacks” were actually his heart and lungs filling up with fluid (at least 50ML was drawn out of him before they decided it was unsafe to keep him anesthetized any longer. (A little background: Barnaby is very hostile towards outsiders and needs to be sedated for any vet appointment, hence why we aren’t able to do regular checkups.)) We have to give him doses of Vetmedin, Lasix, and Benazepril orally on top of his insulin shots. Taking his meds has been INCREDIBLY stressful and on top of the frustration that we feel while administering it to him, Barnaby has taken to hiding and generally avoiding us at all costs.
I just feel so horrible about the entire situation; he doesn’t understand that we’re trying to help him and I just feel like a failure. After adding up the expenses, we may be looking at close to $200 a month for his prescriptions (food included.) As of right now, the cost is manageable but I can’t help but worry over whether his quality of life will improve after getting used to the meds. I can’t even think about putting him to sleep because I just lose it; I just know he’ll feel like we’re abandoning him.
There isn’t anything to do but continue what we’re doing right now, but it’s just hard to not focus on it when I’m already feeling his absence: no bedtime cuddles, no mrows for breakfast, no purring.
He’s my baby, and I feel like I’m failing him.